The Scientist
by patchworkdove
Summary: [I, ROBOT] [Coldplay: The Scientist] Songfic of Dr. Calvin's thoughts as Sonny awaits that fatal nanite injection.


**Author's Note; **Please note that I do not own the characters, concept or plot of the 'I, Robot' book or film, those rights belong to 20th Centaury Fox and the Asimov estate. I do not own any rights to the italicised song lyrics from 'The Scientist', those rights belong to the members and affiliates of COLDPLAY et al.

The room emptied quickly and quietly, personnel dressed in anti-static uniforms and contamination confining bodysuits seeping through the open door. Dr. Calvin swiftly dismissed the security robots. Seeing them next to him only highlighted his uniqueness. Those pleading, bright blue eyes that nearly brought tears to her own. His pale polymer face a mask of sadness tainted with betrayal. That indefinable quality, that thing that made him so… so _human_.

And made her intentions seem so inhumane.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

He seemed so dismayed to see her this time. He was not angry or defiant at the prospect of his imminent demise, only disappointed. Her voice caught in her throat, her conscience choking her. This wasn't right. This wasn't normal. "I'm so sorry Sonny." She gushed, unable to wait for the room to drop into secluded emptiness.

_I had to find you_

_Tell you I need you_

_Tell you I set you apart_

"Please, take a seat." She turned away. She had volunteered for this and it needed to be done, but she was unable to quell the doubts in the back of her mind quite so easily. Why must he be destroyed? At the very least he was a phenomenal aberration of positronic intelligence, the most psychologically complex robot caught by the light of science to date. She was a Robopsychologist! This was her field of expertise, and here she was, throwing a revelation into the darkness.

_Tell me your secrets_

_And ask me your questions_

_Oh let's go back to the start_

If this had happened when she was younger, would she be doing this? Would the long forgotten post-graduate Susan Calvin, still full of so much optimism and drive to change the world for the better, be doing any different? Had she just shed her naiveté, or had the weight of so many un-lived years crushed her? Had her determinism been caved so easily?

_Running in circles_

_Coming up tails_

_Heads on a silence apart_

She struggled to converse with the curious young robot as she drew out a nanite dosage for his death. His questions were so simple but the answers were so complicated, so difficult to force from her mouth. She was his executioner, but also his confidant.

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

Dr. Lanning had been her oldest and dearest friend at USR. A rare example of humanity, a man she had developed an appreciation for, Alfred had been a helping hand in hard times and a guiding voice of reason. He had been her mentor, her idol…for how long?

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

If she could have any one thing in the world right now, it would be to have Alfred backing her decision.

_Oh take me back to the start_

What would Alfred say if he could only see her now? What would he do if he knew what she was thinking? What would he think if he knew how she was feeling right now? What was she feeling right now?

_I was just guessing_

_At numbers and figures_

_Pulling your puzzles apart_

This robot was truly sentient, she could feel it. She had slowly become convinced during that fateful diagnostic that he was self-aware. She could feel it as a shiver down her spine when he looked at her with those bright, knowing eyes. She felt it as a tightness in her throat when she called him unique and he smiled. She felt it as a deep aching in her heart when he called Alfred his 'father'.

_Questions of science_

_Science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart_

She looked at Sonny, seeing his body lying so calmly and obediently in the chair he was strapped to. She knew he understood her intentions. She was going to kill him, force him to die, snatch the blue spark of life from his man-made body, but he just lay there, waiting. Her head told her he was just another faulty unit for decommissioning. Her heart screamed that he lived, felt, suffered…and that this was cold blooded murder.

_Tell me you love me_

_Come back and haunt me_

_Oh and I rush to the start_

No matter how accepting she became as the years wore her down, she would never take murder as right. There was never a good reason to die. She wouldn't murder. This was wrong!

_Running in circles_

_Chasing our tails_

_Coming back as we are_

"Will it hurt?" She grasped his hand, feeling him wrap his steely fingers around hers in return. She wouldn't kill him, and she wouldn't let anyone else perform such an act of profane prejudice and discrimination. He lived, he deserved the right to keep on living. He could never be owned, he needed to be free to live his own life. Just because he was different didn't make killing him justified.

_Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh it's such a shame for us to part_

But what could she do? Looking up, she saw the rack of unprogrammed NS-5's…Sonny's exact likenesses save for the dull yellow eyes.

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

She would surely loose her job if she was discovered, but it paled into comparison with the pricelessly unique quality of life.

_I'm going back to the start_

"Quickly Sonny." She whispered in his ear, imagining that if Alfred could see her now, he would be smiling.


End file.
